Ice Bucket Substitution

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OK. This could be TMI for those of you who are not voluntarily practicing medicine or involuntarily practicing persons with disabilities. So, if faint of heart or of tender humor, press ESC now!

To my son, Chip: Whereas there’s no way I’ll top your creative approach . . .

. . . whereas I’ll not be hoisting a bucket of ice water anytime soon (but will set as a future occupational therapy goal); and whereas the conditions to be fulfilled include discomfort, a bit of embarrassment, excess moisture, and being too cold . . . .

Therefore, be it resolved that the possibility that a) I might have wet my Depends today while b) simultaneously experiencing autonomically disreflexive chills has met your challenge.